Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
