she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
