Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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