I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
