She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Bring me that man meat
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
