Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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