dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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