and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
