I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
