Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
