Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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