So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
