I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
