Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
