I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
