I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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