I want to have your abortion
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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