mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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