You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
