problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
