This girl is more easily done than said...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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