I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
then he tried to convert me to islam
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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