Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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