That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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