4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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