office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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