i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
