I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
