but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
