Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
