As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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