Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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