in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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