found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You pole danced in your parka.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
