You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Your cock deserves a montage
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
