do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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