he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
