By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The Olympian is in my bed
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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