I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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