So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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