Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
