now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
