Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
