i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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