it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
