Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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