She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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