This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
