It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
