I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
