It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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