$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
